Can you really plan love?

Can you really plan love? Can you truly make love happen on your schedule, with the person you dreamed of falling in love with and the situation? I sometimes wonder how many people let true love slip aways just because it's not with the person they thought it would be or it just wasn't good timing. I do understand that love is a sensetive matter that you really need to analyse and take our time with. But how many of us really take our time to fall in love? How many of us just force love to happen and watch it crumble right before our eyes. I feel like I am not alone on this one....

It's a new year for the people of Wonderland. So many things are changing in everyones life. Alice recently purchased her very first house by herself which is an amazing accomplishment and something she would of never thought would happen a year ago. New responsabilities and yes, new commitments. Alice always thought owning a house would be her biggest step in becoming an adult. How many 25 year old women do you know that own their own home? I am guessing not many. Alice wasn't afraid to jump into owning this piece of real estate because she feels confident that this is where she want's to be and knows that becoming a homeowner is the direction she wants to proceed at. But for Alice, owning her own home in the city of Wonderland is not her only concern. Yes lady's and gentlemen, Alice has found a (kids cover your ears) fuck buddy. For the entegrity of this blog we will give him a names, lets call him "Jay".

Jay is the son of Alices new next door neighbor in Wonderland. He is the same age of Alice but with less going for him. Lets face it, he still lives with his mom! Alice dosen't mind though because she knows that he is nothing other than a ("you know") and that that's all he will ever be. After long work days, Alice has too little time to socialise with her friends. for the last 6 months she has felt that it was very easy to call Jay over to keep her company. But the more she spent with him, the more confused she was with her feelings. She loved having a promiscous life and enjoyed being single. Alice finds that commitment is just another way to keep a women from growing and expirementing. She has her life so planned out to a "T" that she knows that "love" is no where near her future. Alice is so commited in getting her life together by working in her career. She feels the busier she gets, the more she will stay out of trouble. But she forgot the number one lesson, when you try to run from trouble, just look around the corner because here it comes.

Heart Break Hotel

What is love?

My good friend Webster defines it as "A strong positive emotion of regard and affection." When I read that definition over and over again I notice 2 perticular words, "POSITIVE" & "EMOTION." I start to think what happens when the "positive emotion" fades away?

I have been going through a lot of problems with my boyfriend Steve. We would fight and fight about the simplest things. This is my first real relationship and I am seeing it all fall apart. How can two people that were so deep in love start hating each other. We have only been together for 3 years, but for some reason it feels like 30! I finally decided to end all the problems by telling him that it was over. I left our apartment on March 1st a strong, courageous and determaind!

On March 3rd I came back.......

Alice has always been a open book. Life never fears her and couriasity determins her. She does what she wants, where she wants, when ever you wants. Well that is until a certain person came back into her life.

Dj was a co worker from one of Alice's previous jobs 4 years ago. At the time Dj was recently seperated from his on again off again girlfriend and shared custody of their child. A regular pot head that just wants to party all the time. At 20 years old he thought he wanted to play daddy and mommy with baby. When reality hit him, he decided that the game was over. So he decided to start playing a new game with Alice, the game of LOVE!

They did the typical flirting and dating that young people do. At the time Alice was into the whole "hard to get mode", and Dj was into "get the hard mode". Alice knew she really liked Dj but she had so many other issues to deal with (which we will discuss in a future post) she knew it would never work out. Alice had to say good bye to her job and also to her good "friend" Dj.

Fast forward 4 years later right in time where I needed Alice to understand me and help me get through this "breakup" little MR sunshine walks into her life. She told me "I have to tell you something". I said "what is it?" I have seen this look on her face before, usually when something really really exciting happens like.."Oh shit you have a boyfriend, right?" I told her. She looked at me with a glowing face and blurted out "Yes!" I could only imagine who she is dating, I have my list of people that I would never approve of, luckily this wasn't one of them. "It's Dj" she said. I gave her a big hug and congratulated her. I asked her how long they were going out for and she told me "about 3 weeks". All I could do is smile for her and hope for the best!

A week passed by and no word from Alice. I knew that she was probably in lala land with her brand new boy toy Dj. I finally get a call from her with some exciting news! I called right away and she said "I know that might be a little upset that I didn't tell you sooner, but I am moving in with my boyfriend Dj!" I was shocked and confused. How can someone that has seen the mistakes that I made with moving in with someone way fast, do the same exact thing? I could of just kept my mouth shut and left the whole situation alone, but if I had someone 3 years ago giving me advise about moving in with someone to soon, I would definitely listen..... I think. Anyway, I told her exactly how I felt. "Your making a mistake, how can you move in with someone that you just started to date again a little over a month ago?" Nothing I said could change her mind, and nothing she told me could make me see how this can possibly be a good idea! Bitter words where exchanged that day. We didn't talk for weeks.

Who is Alice? People always ask me if Alice is a real person. I always tell them yes and no. After they look at me funny I tell them that Alice is actually the girl with many adventures that I decided to write about. She is indeed a real human being, but she is also the girl that many women would love to be. She is not afraid to live out of her shell and she is not afraid to tell you what she thinks. She is amazing outrageous and also happens to be my best friend.